For the lack of time and energy, I tend to start meditation and if I find myself unable to stay focused, to keep my mind from wondering, I just quit. And I know better, but with the baby, I yet to have a good night of sleep, so the only time I have for seated meditation is at night, when kids are asleep. Unfortunately, at that time, I myself can barely keep my eyes open, hence my lack of perseverance.
Paranoia and preoccupation
Sometimes you find yourself in a paranoid condition or a self-preoccupied condition in your zazen. It can last for an entire sesshin, or persist over several sesshins. But if you persevere, it will fade at last and you can get back to your zazen. I had a severe misunderstand with my mother just before I did my first sesshins, more than 60 years ago. For those first three sesshins I couldn’t do zazen. My relentless theme was MY DAMN MOTHER. I persevered, and I finally count my breaths. Please persevere!